I often hear psychology students, eating disorder sufferers, and even some treating professionals generalize that eating disorders are “all about control.” With all respect and sincerity, I object! Control can weave into the eating disorder’s functions for a person, but so much of the time it is not the exclusive (or even main) culprit.
First of all, why/how someone gets an eating disorder is still not completely known. Current research strongly points to biological vulnerabilities (e.g., genes) that get triggered by various factors. However, there is no conclusive answer yet as to which–or what combination of–factors sprout the eating disorder.
So let’s examine the myth of control as the driving force behind eating disorders…
For a sufferer, admittedly, the subjective experience of an eating disorder can feel like it is helping the person to have control (e.g., providing rigid rules and order), even while it may be harming the person’s physical body and thinking-mind. However, if we are critically looking at a person’s desire to feel in control, do the many common consequences of eating disorders align with this? For example, does uncontrollable obsessional thinking, fear of food (which we need to survive), inability to consume appropriate fuel, unexpected bingeing, confusion, tiredness, moodiness, medical problems (anemia, heart palpitations, electrolyte imbalance, dizziness, etc.) or even death align with a desire for feeling in control? No. Not so much.
Referring to the above, I acknowledge that a common experience of having an eating disorder is the denial of the seriousness of the eating disorder’s consequences. And, yes, eating disorder behaviors need to change in order to get on path to physical and psychological healing. But, we aren’t discussing those here. We are exclusively looking at the perpetuated myth that “eating disorders are about control.”
In my opinion, when a person is overeating, purging, or restricting, those actions and accompanying beliefs often become attempts to fill a variety of needs for the sufferer. In her book, Your Dieting Daughter: Is She Dying for Attention?, expert Carolyn Costin names various ways the food and weight can be attempts at solving deeper issues—For example, filling what feels empty (literally with food or emptiness); belief in a myth, (e.g., “I’ll become happy when I lose X pounds”); desire to be special and unique (e.g., receiving “How do you not eat that? You have such willpower. I admire you”-type admiration); doesn’t have coping skills (food-rules and food can feel like they take care of a lack of coping skills); and many more. In her article, 3 Ways to Stop Over-eating, Dr. Nina Savelle-Rocklin highlights the following: “Overeating is often a way of coping with difficult situations, emotions, and conflicts. It is a ‘symptom’ of the problem, not the real problem (though it sure feels like ‘the’ problem).” See how none of these boil down to control as the base?
A colleague and I discussed the subject of control in relationship to specifically anorexia nervosa. She reminded me of Dr. Cynthia Bulik’s article, “Negative Energy Balance: A Biological Trap for People Prone to Anorexia Nervosa.” For a person whose body actually feels calmer when restricting food–which happens–that person’s attempt to control their internal state may help pave the path to anorexia nervosa. But this originates from a biological response. So even here, control is not the underlying drive–biology is.
Each sufferer has his or her unique formula for his or her eating disorder’s development and persistence. Control may be a supporting factor, but it is often a part of a complex whole.
As a caretaker, treatment professional, or part of the community that cares about the sufferer, curiosity can be part of the remedy. Overgeneralizations or conclusions about control don’t generally serve the person who has the unnatural relationship with food. In fact, thinking that an eating disorder is mainly about control can cause a person to ingest yet another negative self-trait: “So, I can’t even eat like normal people do, and now I’m a controlling person.”
Please… Let’s stop the myth. A person who is struggling with an eating disorder or a non-intuitive relationship with food intake often already believes a lot of negative things about him/herself. Let’s not offer further insult by oversimplifying things. Eating disorders and disordered eating are not simple struggles.
*This blog was revised for publication on 5/9/15
