In the United States, the month of May typically revs up for the “summer body” and “swimsuit body” campaign seasons. Adding to this year’s angst about hot weather and wearing less clothing, many of us are bombarded with daily ads telling us to lose the weight gained during Covid. As a mental health therapist who has specialized in eating and body image for over a decade, weight loss posed as a solution to nearly all of life’s woes especially bothers me.
Instead of focusing on changing our bodies—which takes up time and energy and may not be possible without harming ourselves—perhaps feeling more comfortable in our bodies right could be a goal. Here are some ideas.
Challenge the Message
The phrase “swimsuit body” implies that one type of body is best. Yet, it’s just not possible to have one kind of body in the world. If you think of 10 people, they’re probably very different even though their basic structure is similar. Next time you hear that phrase, “swimsuit body,” ask yourself, “WHO is saying I’m supposed to have that body?” “WHAT authority do they have?” and “WHY am I supposed to have that body?”
While exploring those questions, you might discover that it’s challenging to find a real answer. Personally, I see at least the following explanations: to keep us spending money to “fix” ourselves and to keep us feeling dissatisfied so that we can’t stand in our authentic power. Can you imagine the financial impact if people gave up trying to change their bodies? What about the effects of accepting our looks or even feeling honored about our body/appearance diversity? If, for example, the 90+ million “dieters” in the United States felt body acceptance or even confidence, that would massively disrupt the existing financial and power structures.
Regarding this year’s extra messaging about our post-Covid bodies, some bodies changed, and some stayed the same. In either case, if you’re still around, then you survived a global pandemic. I think your body is pretty fabulous—it either fought for you to stay alive, or it kept you safe from sickness. Your body did a fantastic job!
Wear Clothing for Summer Weather & Work on Improving Your Body Acceptance
We usually wear less in the heat. No matter what our size or how fearful we might be about showing arms/legs/whatever, maybe ask yourself: “What do I want to wear to feel as comfortable as possible?” (Post pandemic might be an opportunity to start new and desired habits, styles, etc.) Life can already be uncomfortable enough. Though I’ve never met you, my heart knows this: You do not deserve added discomfort.
A recent study by Dr. Rachel Weaver and Kate Mulgrew showed that writing about the functions of your body, such as how your body serves you, can help improve body image. Focus on gratitude for what your body does for you. For example, “Thighs, you’re strong. You let me sit and stand hundreds of times a day. Thank you.” Get the picture? There are some examples from MeaningFULL: 23 Life-Changing Stories of Conquering Dieting, Weight, & Body Image Issues in a Psychology Today article by Dr. Charlotte Markey, “One Way to Improve Body Image at Any Age: Write About It.”
Also, try picking styles that make you feel good to look at or seem comfortable. If your brain says, “I can’t wear that,” is that true? Start doable. Maybe wear the different outfit first in your home and then outside for five minutes. Increase exposure along the way if you can tolerate how vulnerable it might feel. And, if you discover that the stores don’t sell the style in your size, consider this: The problem is not you. Often, the lack of available, diverse sizes out there stinks, but that’s not on you.
Pull the Swimsuit Out of the Drawer
Did you just experience a reaction to “swimsuit”? If you read MeaningFULL, you were reminded that sometimes a child doesn’t know their parent even HAS a swimsuit. Have you missed out on experiences because your swimsuit lived in your drawer instead of on your body? If so, here are four ways that any of us might feel more confident and courageous about that swimsuit.
-1-) When you find yourself comparing your body to the models on ads, the tags hanging off new clothing, and magazine pages, please remind yourself that many of the images we view are ridiculously photoshopped. Also, only a tiny percent of the world has a build like we see in live fashion shows. Measuring your own swimsuit fit against these unrealistic, mostly unattainable images could probably crack the confidence of almost anyone.
-2-) Look at your existing suit (if you have one). If available swim fashions don’t seem right for you, ask yourself what kind of style you might like. For example, I never have felt “myself” in a bikini. Ever. I prefer vintage looks partly because they cover more and partly because I find them to have personality. Also, I love that I never risk my boobs falling out because the tops tend to be secure. Please look for what works and feels best for you. Even if you don’t love wearing a swimsuit, a more neutral experience of wearing one can feel positive and powerful.
-3-) If you’re seeking a new suit and trying them on in the stores feels too uncomfortable, maybe order a few returnable sizes and styles. Try them on in your home.
-4-) Finally, perhaps you have a suit in your drawer, and it doesn’t feel good to wear. However, a new one isn’t possible right now. (For such a small amount of material, they sure can be expensive!) See if there’s a way you can still make your memories in it until you can get a new one that feels better (e.g., tie material like a sarong, don’t look in the mirror once you’ve put it on, etc.). Find what works for you to get out there and LIVE!
In Conclusion
After almost a half-century alive and 13 years as a professional therapist, I can say this with assuredness: People often give a lot of power to what others MIGHT think of their bodies. Yet others around us can be so worried about their own bodies (or something else), they don’t even notice much about yours!
I hope that something here might help you experience your upcoming summer memories with a bit more comfort, courage, and confidence.
NOTE: Therapists are encouraged to delineate their roles whenever sharing publicly. So here it is: Though I am a therapist, this blog does not provide therapy. It provides ideas for your consideration. I believe that we are on a journey—together, each of us (me included) trying to find our ways to live our most fulfilling lives. May we each find our solves.
